Two Years Ago...

This weekend two years ago was the beginning of the end of my pregnancy with Peanut. I can't even explain how horrible the next two weeks were for me and for Matt, and this year it seems to be bugging me a lot more, I am sure it is because I was pregnant with Ava last year and preoccupied.

It wasn't a quick miscarriage, it went on, ups and downs for two weeks. We saw Peanut twice, we saw her heart beating, and we saw her suffering as well. I really feel like the doctors gave us way to much false hope, but then again, at the time I was seeing covering obs because my doctor (who I loved and he was the doctor that delivered ME and Logan) was out for for a surgery (unfortunately a surgery that would end this career, the same day I found out I lost Peanut, he had a stroke and he was never able to come back to practice, he closed his office this past January. I really like my current ob, but I loved Dr. W, after all he brought me into the world and my first baby). Because I wasn't a "real" patient I was really jerked around while all this was going on and it didn't make things any easier.

I also think it's harder this year because I do have Ava and to just see the joy in her face and all the new things she is discovering and to know Peanut will never experience that here and with us is just sad.

However, Peanut's short life is not without meaning, and it really was the defining event that made the decision for me to start a nursing career, easy.

I opened my quote app on my iPod today and this was the quote it gave me,
"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey."

And I totally plan on doing that! I am so ready for this journey!

Busy Day

I ran around all day doing errands and got some Christmas shopping done at Target. Target always does a toy clearance in July and I always do a lot of birthday and Christmas shopping when that happens. I also booked the park for Ava's 1st birthday bash today! I can't believe she is almost 1, it went way to fast. We also did the car seat shuffle today. Logan's new booster seat came today, he is still harnessed for now but it is more of a big boy chair which he likes. Ava is moved into his old Britax and she seems much happier now, thank god!

We were suppose to have a swimming play date with my cousins kids today, but of them got sick so we had to postpone until next week, Logan was bummed but he had fun hanging out with Daddy while he went to get his emissions test and license plate sticker at the DMV (which took forever) Logan was such a good boy we let him pick out a few matchbox cars as a reward.

Once we were done running around we grilled out and had blue cheese burgers...yum!

My Mom made it to Romania safely too! Logan had fun tracking her flight!

Oh My....

I can not get over how talkative Ava is. She points to everything and wants to know what everything is, such a change from Logan who really didn't point until 18 months and even then rarely did. When I am feeding her in the high chair she points to what she wants (her puffs, or chruchies, or rice husks) and just over all is very communicative (she is a women who knows what she wants!) and has been from early on, she literally "talks" all day long. She plays with her dolls already, giving them a binkie or bottle (something she has been doing since she was about 4 months old. I know mothers always say their kids are so smart, but I think she is like, really smart. Matt's side of the family has some pretty strong smarts, particularly his younger brother and a part of me wonders if she is advanced. Her ped told us she was ahead when we went through her skill check list at her check up last time, like I said such a change from Logan.

She really wants to walk now and is standing unaided for longer periods now and walks while only holding one hand.

Maybe it's just a girl thing, or maybe it's a second child thing, but my little girl is one smarty pants if ya ask me!

Oh and now if she doesn't get her way, or Logan takes something away from her, she will full out face flat on the floor, stretch out, tantrum...unlike her brother's tantrums, her's are so damn cute. I am sure they will grow to be annoying eventually, but for now it cracks Matt and I up...such a girl for sure, full of the drama!

9 Month Pictures!

We got Ava's 9 month portraits back today and they as usual are awesome! A big thank you to our friend Lance (and Megan). Check Lance out here www.tinymonkeys.net

Here are some of my favs!

(the grandparent pictures turned out great too, but Matt's parents choose not to be apart of our blogs so I can't post pictures of them...sorry)

And yes I made her headbands...you like the extra large flower headband you say? It will be for sale soon in my Etsy shop! (www.mylittlepetals.etsy.com)

SO close I can taste it!

My Axel that is. I am right there, just have to go for it at this point, which will mean taking some hard falls (this is the part of learning a jump that I hate, because you know you are going to bite it, and in case you didn't know, ice hurts). It feels solid though and I know it's close, very excited!

Logan did awesome at gymnastics today and when we got home and Ava was napping we headed into the pool and it felt wonderful! We headed out to Mom's to see her one more time before she leaves for Romania and had dinner with everyone. Mom watched the kids while I skated, Matt had lodge tonight. That's our day in a nutshell!

Quote of the day time! This one is the serenity prayer, which a fun bit of trivia for ya, was written by Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr who was one of the presidents at Elmhurst College where I graduated from. I see the prayer all the time, just saw it on a plaque at Kohl's the other day. I may go back and get it as a node to my Alma Mater! I also spent all four years in Schick Hall, which was next door to Niebuhr Hall.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." ~Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr

Long Day Over Here...

I hate when Matt works late, for some reason, even though he is home until 12:30pm, the day just drags!

My husband rocks though because he took both the kids on a long walk and visit down to great grandma and grandpa house so I could get some work done around the house.

Didn't hear back from the school recruiter, guess I will just give them a call, still annoyed about that one.

I downloaded a quote app for my iPod, and I am loving these quotes. So my faviorte quote of the day today is:

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." ~Mark Twain

That one hits home as I embark on my new ambition in life, there have been plenty of comments about me starting a new career when I never finished my I/O masters degree, but I/O psychology is not what makes my heart sing, and I don't think it ever did or ever could. Yet there are those that have been nothing but supportive and understand.

Dragging...

So tired today for some reason, kinda feel like I am getting sick and my right eye is bothering me, but I think it's contact related so I didn't put them in today and I haven't seen my glasses since I got home from the hospital with Ava almost 10 months ago so I've been a squinting all day and that's just annoying.

Matt had to work today, the library is only opened 1-5 on Sundays, but I wish that his library would just be closed on Sunday's like so many other's, it's such a bummer when he has to go in (usually only once a month, but still) and it makes it hard to get anything done or do anything on those Sunday's.

So me and the kids have just been hanging around today.

Hopefully I will be feeling better tomorrow...

I did manage to send an email off to the BNAT recruiter to get an idea of when I should start the admission process for my nursing assistant training. I am 100% for sure going to start in January. August would have been to hard with the kids birthdays and then going through all the holidays...too much distraction and I need to be able to give 100% to school. It is a limited enrollment program and I have to be interviewed and do some testing etc, so I am trying to figure out when to start all this and how far in advance do I need to do this for the January program. I tried emailing the program director about it and I never heard anything, so hopefully this person can answer my questions, if not I'll just have to call, just easier to email, trying to find a quite time to make a phone call like that doesn't happen a lot around here in less it's after 8pm and well then no one is around which is why emailing would be great, not sure why they list an email if they are not going to use it...annoying.

Busy Saturday

We had a busy day today, we started with heading out to our friends house to get Ava's 9 month pictures taken and also some pictures with Matt's parents with the grandkids. I can't wait to see the pictures, but I already know they will be awesome, Lance never disappoints.

Then we headed over to my Mom's and went to her church for her commissioning at the service being held. She is leaving next Thursday for Romania on a mission trip. She will be visiting a few Churches and an orphanage while there, teaching VBS (vacation Bible school) and life lesson type stuff at the orphanage to the older kids getting ready to leave (they kick them out when they turn 18, luckily they are starting a in between house for them to go to once they turn 18).

The service for my Mom was very nice and the kids did very well, after church we headed home and had dinner. My Mom made a Romanian soup (it was really good!) and we did deli sandwich's and she had made a Romanian apple pie, which was more like a strudel, but very yummy.

Nice and tired now and ready to hit the hay!

I'm Exhausted!

Logan had his fillings done today, everything went fine other than having to give him a third type of sedative because the "cocktail" and nitrous oxide wasn't enough to put him out, he put up a good fight and as the dentist said he is very strong. They did x-rays which they would do at his cleaning because he was so upset, so we knew he had to have fillings, but we didn't' know if there was anything worse than just surface cavities, thankfully that is all they were. After Logan drank the medicine he came back out to the waiting room with me and Ava (Matt was with him when he did the drink) and it started to kick in pretty fast, picture a 3 year old drunk....it was funny until he got really drowsy then he was just difficult. I ended up carrying him back to the chair, we had to put him into one of those boards that Velcro's a blanket around him like when he got his stitches last summer, so of course he flipped out for that, it took a good 5+ minutes until he finally was quite and I slipped out the door once they got him on the heart monitor (NICU flash back, all those hours I sat there watching his monitors, praying and willing his respiration's to go down) and his heart rate slowed (his heart was pounding like crazy) Matt, Ava and I stayed in the waiting room until he was done, he woke up a little when Matt picked him up and then put him in the van, but he pretty much slept until 3pm. Matt had went into work around 1:3o while he was still sleeping, but once he woke up it was crazy time and I had to have Matt come home from work, as he was not reacting well to the sedation wearing off. He fell twice and hit his head because I was trying to get him something to eat, he didn't know what he wanted, crying, stumbling, fighting me, then cuddling. I couldn't take care of both of them so Matt came home. I finally got him back to sleep at 6, and that was 3 of the hardest hours I have had with him in his almost 4 years. I had big glass of wine with dinner... So glad this is behind us now, very nerve wracking having your child under anesthesia, and please can Logan get a break for awhile now, we both need it!

Getting sleepy and reading with Daddy

Big News From ACOG!

This got passed along to me today from the ACOG (American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology) about new VBAC guidelines.

http://www.acog.org/from_home/publications/press_releases/nr07-21-10-1.cfm

In keeping with past recommendations, most women with one previous cesarean delivery with a low-transverse incision are candidates for and should be counseled about VBAC and offered a TOLAC. In addition, "The College guidelines now clearly say that women with two previous low-transverse cesarean incisions, women carrying twins, and women with an unknown type of uterine scar are considered appropriate candidates for a TOLAC," said Jeffrey L. Ecker, MD, from Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and immediate past vice chair of the Committee on Practice Bulletins-Obstetrics who co-wrote the document with William A. Grobman, MD, from Northwestern University in Chicago.

And the awesome news is that they are now recommending a TOL (trial of labor) for those with two previous cesareans with low-transverse incisions!!!! (that's me!)

I have already been researching and thinking about the possibility of trying a VBA2C, and my options were pretty limited (would have to switch to a hospital downtown, which is the only one that would allow them). I had kind of given up, but now with the new recommendation, hopefully by the time we have our next baby, my doctor and hospital will be on board with this. All I ever wanted or asked for was the chance to try, and now I can have that again. I am a very happy camper right now :<)

I have been dealing, rather poorly, with the fact that I thought I would never get the birth I always wanted and having to have c-sections from now on, and now that the option still might be there for me, is well really damn awesome! I do know people that have had a VBA2C, I know it's possible and I know every pregnancy and labor is different so third time might be the charm for me!

Just needed to spread the good word for all the c-section mamas out there!

Ava & The Hippo

So back when Logan was 9 months old be got him his first walking toy and he didn't really touch it or walk behind it until he was 11 months old.

Ava on the other hand has taken off with it, she also uses our kitchen counter chairs and a walking toy and her brother's inch worm ride on as a walking toy.

So funny how Ava and Logan are so different, yet the same, I looked up Logan's height and weight at 9 months he was 21 lbs 1oz (so Ava is 7oz heavier) and they were/are both 29 inches. Funny how they are the same at this point when Ava started out a pound heavier.

Here is Ms. Thing walking with the hippo

Ahhh Back On The Ice!

Holy cow!! I forgot what a stiff, supportive boot feels like, everything felt so much better tonight. I landed everything first time out in a month and it was easy! I have to break them in a bit still, my ankles are beat up a little and my balance is a little off because I can get down into my normal position for some things until they are broken in a little, but man I should have done this a loooooooooong time ago. Hopefully things will move along with landing my Axel now, it was like 200 times easier taking off now that I have support and sharp blades. So ready to land that sucker (which was my goal after I had Logan, I think I even said I wanted to land my Axel before I had another...oops two pregnancies later still no Axel) but for sure this time no more pregnancies until I have a solid Axel...I mean it this time don't roll your eyes!

Busy Week Ahead...

Let's see we have

Tuesday: Gymnastics for Logan, Skating for Mommy!!! Can't wait to get in my skates and see how they feel

Friday: Logan has his cavities filled, already a nervous wreck about him going under, I can not wait until Friday is over and behind us

Saturday: Afternoon we have photo's with our Friend Lance for Ava's 9 month pictures and also doing pictures with Matt's mom so she can have some nice ones of her and the kids (it was her mother's day present from us but we are just getting around to doing it. Then we have a commissioning ceremony to go to for my Mom at her church for mission trip to Romania and then dinner with the family at my Mom's where she is going to make us some Romanian dishes in honor of her trip.

Crazy week for sure!

Talk About A Lazy Sunday

We were all up late last night and we all woke up around 10am this morning (pretty nice I have to say) so now Ava is all off schedule but I guess that's the price you pay for partying it up for your 29th birthday.

As you can guess we laid low today, cleaned up and ran some errands and oh yea played around with my new iPod...love it! Totally went app crazy today, but I only paid for one of them so I don't feel so bad about it.

Ava started shaking her head no yesterday and it almost sounds like she is trying to say no as well. It is so cute, because she does it appropriately, for instance she likes to pull off the jelly type corner protectors we have on the entertainment center so she doesn't hurt herself, so now she gets up there puts her hand on it, looks at me, shakes her head no and then pulls it off...I really do think we are in trouble with this one!

Party Day!

We celebrated my birthday today with our family and my bff. I had a great time, and ate some yummy taco dip and drank some Brandy slush, in honor of me of course :<) Ya can't ask for more! But there was more, most of my family went in together and got the iPod touch that I so desperately wanted (and needed)...whoo hoo!!! I was sporting an iPod mini so I was way over due for an upgrade and I couldn't even update the darn thing anymore. Very excited to play with that tomorrow! I also got a cool new fountain/light for the pool. It's a free floating round thing and you turn it on and it shoots water up and then it also lights up and does a light show on the bottom of the pool, very cool for night swimming! I also got a new set of tiki torches for around the pool. Since it was my birthday party I wasn't taking pictures so all I have are a few my Mom took while Logan was in the pool with my sister and brother. Thank you to my wonderful family for making my birthday very special!

My Skates Are Back!

I feel so much better now that they are back in my possession (when you spend $600+ on something you tend to feel that way). I put my right skate on because that is my bigger foot and the foot with the bunion (gross I know, but it's life as a figure skater) and it is definitely much tighter, which is good, that means the rebuild did what it was suppose too, but I will probably have to have the right boot, and maybe the left punched out again. They are really stiff again so I will have a little getting use to my boots time again, but it is so cool how they can make them stiff again. I should have taken a before picture but up by the ankle area there were HUGE creases and I was getting no support anymore (and I am someone who needs a lot of ankle support when skating). Now when you look at my skates you can see where the creases were but they are no longer bent in, very cool! I should be skating on Tuesday so hopefully they will feel as good as they look and $70 bucks sure beats paying for new boots! Now I debating whether to spray them beige or white. They have never been really white and when I compete I always have tights that fit over the boots and when I did compete in synchro with them I used white tape to make them look really white. That's my next skate project, but for now just glad to have them back and so ready to get back on the ice!

This was the worse boot, you can see where the creases were, but the boot no longer caves forward messing the with support of the boot (and you can see where I had my skate tape and where I didn't)



This one looks ever better this boot wasn't as bad as this is my spinning leg and the other is my landing leg so it gets a lot more action. You can also see some of the goo they must use to do it.

Happy Birthday To Me!

The big 29 today, I am not going to lie I feel just a little bit old, maybe that's because hubby is only 27, he is still so far from the really big 3-0 and me so, so close...

But, I plan on making this one of the best years of my life, I have beautiful family now and new goals I want to accomplish and I feel generally pretty good about life these days. I am very excited to be taking steps towards my new career starting in January. I have wanted to do this since Logan was born so it's been a long time coming and I am ready for the challenge. I look forward to these last months as an exclusive stay at home mom, and I want to do some fun stuff with the kids before I am back in school and eventually working (I will still be home with the kids and plan on working nights and weekends when I get back to work).

Since I am not planning on being pregnant for awhile (yes that's right I said awhile, I am 100% sure we are going to have a third and I have baby fever right now, and I don't know why) I can finally buckle down with skating and get that darn Axel landed and hopefully do a competition or something. I am so ready to be back in shape and on the ice more regularly.

Just some of the fun stuff that awaits me this coming year. And next year we party hard for the big 3-0!

Help For A Very Special Little Boy

As I may have mentioned before, I belong to a wonderful message board that started as a due date club back in 2006 when we were all pregnant with October 2006 babies. This group is very special and we have hung tight through the past 4 years and these ladies are truly a blessing.

One of the mom's on the broad, who I happen to know in real life as well, she is a Chicago area mom, has a very special boy, who just couldn't wait until October to come into this world and was born in July of 2006 and unfortunately has many medical issues to deal with due to his prematurity. We are organizing this blog (click on the button above) to help Robin and Mikey with his medical and therapy expenses. These are two very special people, that have been through so much, and have dealt with more than a lot of people will in their whole lives.

I know times are tough right now, but any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated by this wonderful mommy and her miracle boy!

Whoo Hoo!

The Whoo Hoo! is because my skates are back! I won't be able to get out to pick them up until Friday, but at least they are done! I am so excited, I hope they are in better shape now and that it is going to help my skating, or I should say help me land my Axel! I haven't skated in a month in well a month this week and I am sooo ready to get back on the ice.

Logan had gymnastics today and for the first time I didn't have to walk him out to his class, he went out with this teacher and class, and only ran out to me once, and that was to go potty, so proud of him! He did so well on the bars today, jumping up grabbing and swinging, I so love watching him and he loves it

Sitting in the room with all the other moms (and dads) was funny today, they were all amazed with this group of girls (who were early team level I would say) doing. their conditioning, and i am thinking, gees they are getting off light today, we did so much more than that and it was at last 30 minutes, I have such a different perceptive than non gymnast people. When the coach came out and the "moms were all, "That is so much work, I wish I could do that, blah, blah." and the coach said "Ha, they are getting off easy today, only 20 minutes and not working them to hard." Yep that's what I thought. I also find myself tightening muscles while watching some of the girls, one in particular is doing the vault I use to do, she is still learning it and doing it into the pit and every time she blocks off the vault to go into the back flip I can feel myself doing it with her. Oh how I wish I still had my gymnast body and strength. Ava was watching the group of girls doing their conditioning and they were raising their arms up with weights and Ava was playing along, so cute. Ava tries to get out into that gym so hard, 9 more months and she will get to start class and I know she is just going to love it!

Logan And The S'more...

Logan was very excited to roast marshmallows while we were up in WI, just like Curious George does when he goes camping (if Curious George does it than it's gold to Mr. Logan). I figured this year Logan would be into the whole S'more deal, I mean who doesn't like S'more's?

Well Logan kinda ate a S'more he just did it in steps and er, left out the gram cracker part.

Here's is how it went down...





And then he skipped the gram cracker and moved onto another marshmallow

Busy Day...At Home

We stayed home today, and Matt dealt with the kids so I could get some stuff done around the house, and then once Ava was in bed we did some work outside. Matt decided he is going to make a fort in the back yard for the kids...this should be interesting. He checked books out from the library on building swing sets and the like. I wonder how long this project will take, Logan isn't the most patient three year old (then again what three year old is?) So now we are clearing the area where this project is going to go, I don't think it will get done this summer, but hopefully before winter.

That about sums up today, I am loving not being super busy right now!

A Boring Saturday...

and very thankful for that! We have been so busy, and things are finally starting to settle down now. Matt had to work today so it was just me and the kids. Got a lot of cleaning up, reorganizing done in the playroom. We moved Logan's train table down there because Ava kept destroying the track set up (and that stuff is $$$) so we moved it down there where he can play and not be bothered as much be her. Although she still wants to get at it when she is in the playroom, but I can usually distract her with something else down there. Once we got Ava in bed we worked outside some while Logan played, getting the backyard in shape for my B-day party with the family next weekend, yep my 29th birthday is on Thursday, my last year in my 20's, and I have a lot of awesome things planned for this year, so I am ok with that...kind of.

My New Etsy Shop!

So I am sure you have all noticed Ava's adorable flower headbands in a lot of her pictures, well I make those for her and I have gotten so many compliments when she wears them and then people asking where I get them from, and when I tell them that I make them, they tell me I should sell them! So I thought what a good idea and My Little Petal's was born. Right now I have flower headbands and monogram flower headbands, as well as flower pen pots available. I am finishing up working on a few flower beanie hats and should have them up shortly. Please take a look and feel free to pass along my Etsy store address to anyone that might be interested! They make adorable gifts and are super cute for photo's of your little petal!

www.mylittlepetals.etsy.com

So Not Ready...

For walking! Ava has pulled her self up several times yesterday and today and then let go of whatever she as holding on to and just stood there. I could just see her wheels turning trying to figure out how to move from there. I know she will probably walk earlier than Logan did, because she wants to keep up with Logan (she has done everything sooner than Logan so far, except teeth, his started coming in a little earlier) but I figured I had some more time! I am probably getting a head of myself, but I know it's going to happen a whole lot sooner with this one!

Happy 9 months baby girl! Check up is next week, so I will get some stats then!

Pool Day!

Matt was back to work today (poor thing has to work today and tomorrow and then he is off again on Friday since he has to go in on Saturday, two day work week for him.) so it was back to a regular routine. My mom came out today to see the kids, we spent a good amount of time outside, she helped me work on some garden stuff and she played with Logan. Once Ava woke up we went swimming, our pool water is still so warm so Ava enjoyed it much more than the last time she went in. So we splashed around for awhile and just had a fun time. I am exhausted now from being out in the heat so I am heading to bed! Here is Ms. Ava taking a ride in her "boat"