We have had a tough couple of weeks, mostly over Matt's job situation and things are not getting better. I am praying that God opens a door for him very soon, because he is being pushed out of the door he's in now. I can't say more than that right now, but if you have some extra positive vibes and prayers please send them our way.
Last weekend we went out to lunch with a group of friends, which was great to have some adult time and a good meal. However we planned the lunch for the March 13, which was Peanuts due date and not really thinking about it we would be out to lunch with two preggo's, one about to pop. I didn't think it would bother me much, but get two preggo's together, one a first timer and that is all your going to talk about the whole time. My heart was just...sad. Matt also made a very insensitive comment about us having another baby, and while it was meant to be joking, it didn't come out that way, so basically it was just a crappy day all around. I am however very excited for these two friends of mine, I really am, it was just hard to deal with.
I was on spring break this week, it was nice to get a break, but I have to get back into study mode and it's really hard to do that with all the stress and uncertainly hanging over our heads right now.
On top of all this the kids got sick last week, fevers for a day, low grade and your basic cold. Ava got better and Logan kept coughing, not unusual for him but then he spiked a high fever Thursday night and his cough intensified so we took him into the doctor and we find he has pneumonia. He's on antibiotics, cough medicine with codeine and breathing treatments.
I feel so bad for him, always coughing and I just feel like it's my fault, my body's fault. Probably sounds stupid, but because I had a c-section he got the fluid in his lungs at birth and he developed pneumonia which probably caused weakness in that lung which is why he is so prone to coughing, croup, and bronchitis. He always gets sicker than Ava when they have colds too, then I feel really guilty that I wasn't able to nurse him exclusively because of his stint in the NICU and my bad milk production. Ava got the benefit of EBM until she was 5 months old and after that she still got more BM than formula until around 10 months and I made it until 1 year with pumping and it really shows, she is healthier and bounces back from sickness so much better than Logan. Mommy guilt sucks.
So that is what has been going on here. Bracing for some change over here, and telling ourselves we will get through just like every other obstacle life has thrown our way.
And not to be a total downer here a three good things about the last couple of weeks:
1. My new camera came, whoo hoo!
2. I got to go to Starts On Ice...it was awesome even though it made me miss skating so badly.
3. Ava's personality is really blossoming and she is a constant source of smiles for us, especially when we need them so desperately.
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